Bear’s Birth Story
Swapping Stories
When you get a bunch of women together, it’s inevitable - we start sharing our “war stories.” About heart ache & heart break & our most embarrassing stories, about our work woes & awkward encounters & frustrations with our bodies, and yes, about childbirth & raising little humans & figuring out motherhood as a whole. And there are really few things I love more in life than getting together with my favorite women & sharing & listening & reliving all of those stories together.
I love writing out the details of each of my children’s birth stories to remember these most meaningful days of my life & I enjoy sharing them here to commiserate & laugh & connect with other women. I love hearing other women’s birth stories and if you do too, then I hope you’ll enjoy my recollection of Bear’s birth! If you’d like, please share some of your labor & delivery experience in the comments below this blog. I’d love to hear about your experience, too!
Without further ado, here is our baby Bear’s birth story!
Preparing for Labor
Similar to how I prepared for my daughter’s births, during my pregnancy I took time to refresh my memory about what exactly happens with our bodies during labor. More than any particular method, I think understanding what is physically happening during labor & delivery is the most helpful thing you can do to reduce fear & prep yourself mentally for the hard work ahead. This time around, I took an online hypnobirthing course, listened to (positive only) birth stories on this podcast, & wrote out positive affirmations to focus on when I went into labor. My birth preferences looked like this: as little medical intervention as possible, no induction or c-section unless needed for medical *emergency*, no epidural, a calm environment for labor, give birth in a position other than on my back, maintain a calm & positive mindset. (I actually wrote a separate blog on the top 3 ways I prepared for labor vs. how it actually went - you can check it out here!)
I think it’s important to plan for how you want your birth to unfold. Of course, there are NUMEROUS factors outside of our control, but, we should always plan for what’s important to us! The day you deliver your baby is one of the most important days of your life, so just like any other important event, I think you should plan for what you want, inform yourself on other possibilities of what could happen, hope for the best, & adjust as you need to! Things may result in plan B, or C, D, E, F, G - but that’s okay! You’ll still be glad that you had a goal in mind & were prepared for other possibilities, too.
Due Date-Schmue Date
Due dates are really just a guess at when a baby will make his or her arrival. Did you know only 5% of women deliver on their due date? And, only 10% of women deliver their babies before. That means the vast majority of us (85%) will have our babies after our due date. But even knowing all of this, it can still be difficult to watch your due date come and pass when it’s the day you’ve been counting down to for the past 40 weeks!
Both of my girls were a couple days past due, so I wasn’t surprised when my due date with Bear also came & went. I truly felt good about trusting that he would arrive when he was ready to!
My parents came into town the day after his due date with the hope that they could be here for the delivery and then stay afterwards for a few days to help out & spend time with the little guy. This was a great “plan” in theory, but he didn’t end up coming for several more days! I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel restless at times while waiting on labor to start because I felt like everyone was waiting on me. (Even though nobody was putting any pressure on me, obviously!) I had to keep reminding myself that it would all be in perfect timing & take it one day at a time.
A Series of Unfortunate Events
This leads me to another one of the ways things did not go as I had “planned”. I had hoped to begin laboring at home in a calm environment - turn on the oil diffuser, tidy up the house, maybe get in a warm bath for a bit… laboring at home for as long as possible before heading to the hospital for the delivery. BUT THIS WAS NOT THE CASE. 😜
On Saturday afternoon, I started feeling nauseous and by Saturday evening the stomach bug hit me with full force. Between vomiting and all the other things that go with it, it was literally a violent experience. I started praying that I would not go into labor until I was recovered. I couldn’t imagine laboring in that state and I really couldn’t imagine accomplishing any of my goals for labor in that state either…
Meanwhile, the plague of death began to fall upon our whole house. My 4-year-old started getting sick and then my husband went down, too. Please, God! I begged him to not let tonight be the night.
In the midst of the flurry, I started to feel contractions coming and going. It was hard to tell what was what in the midst of the chaos & all the other things happening with my body. Was it just cramping from dehydration? Or a true labor contraction? Was this the start of it all or would it pass when my body finally relaxed?
During this time, I took Zofran to help stop the vomiting and you guys, whoa. This is a miracle drug. I didn’t think anything could stop what was happening to me, but after taking it, I was able to lay in bed for a little bit and keep a little Gatorade down. This is when I was able to start paying a little better attention to my body and what was happening. Yep, contractions were happening. The getaway train had started moving and there was no way to stop it.
Heading to the Hospital
My plans for laboring at home as long as possible shifted as I realized that in order to take on the work of labor I was going to need to regain some strength and get some fluids in me. So, after a few more hours of contractions, I told Harrison it was time to go. I didn’t track my contractions like I had with my girls, I just tried to pay attention to my body & trust my intuition to make the best decision possible.
Thankfully, Harrison was able to come to the hospital with me. It truly felt like a little miracle of God. Harrison was sick right up until we left the house, then his sickness basically paused the whole time I was in labor, and then immediately after I had the baby, he was down for the count again. I really praise God for giving him temporary relief during my labor at the hospital! There is no other explanation for it all.
So, with snow still thick on the ground from the big snow storm earlier that weekend, Harrison, my mom, & I got in the car and headed to the hospital around 6:30am.
Contractions & Labor
When we got to the hospital to check in, they asked me how far apart my contractions were & I told them I didn’t know, but I knew I needed to be there. After they checked me in triage, they took us to our room and got me started on fluids. I was so relieved to not be sent home because it was a fear in the back of mind that I might just be dehydrated and not truly in labor, but thankfully I got to stay. I labored on my side while I waited for the fluids to run their course and I slowly started to feel better & find my strength again. I felt like I was able to regain my mental fortitude and buckle down for the labor ahead.
Once I felt my strength returning, I got out of the bed to labor on the birthing ball. This is where I stayed for the majority of the time, bouncing slightly on the ball and leaning over the bed during contractions. Harrison would put pressure on my hips and very lower back & that helped bring a lot of relief during contractions. He also kept a cool washcloth on my neck which felt great. Every now & then I would get up to walk around, but sitting on the birthing ball felt like the most comfortable & productive position to stay in.
I felt mostly positive throughout early labor, enjoying the rest in between & repeating positive phrases in my mind during contractions. But after a few hours, I let the nurse check me and when she told me I was 5cm dilated, I became discouraged. The hardest part about labor is that you don’t know how long it will last. I let my mind spiral a little bit thinking, what if I stay stuck at 5cm for hours? What if this labor lasts until tonight? I am not at my physical best following this stomach bug so if this is going to last for a significant while longer, maybe I should just get the epidural now and rest… I looked at my mom & said, “What is even the point of doing this naturally?” But, she kept reminding me to just take one contraction at a time and Harrison kept affirming me that I could do it.
Not long after this, I tried getting into a new position on the bed on my knees, leaning over the birthing ball. This position felt really productive & conducive to helping the baby starting moving down. Contractions started feeling longer, harder, & closer together. Because of what I had learned about the stages of labor, I recognize myself moving into the transition phase. This is where things start ramping up, you often get a rush of adrenaline, & you start to really experience the feeling of “I can’t do this anymore.” But knowing that that was normal helped me know that the end was near & I COULD in fact, do it. The doctor checked me and told me I was 7cm dilated.
The Delivery
Things progressed quickly after that, contractions getting harder and more intense. I continued laboring in the same position draped over the ball on my knees and sometimes clenching my hands around the sidebars of the bed. In less than 30 minutes, I had the urge to push & I felt my breathing speeding up as I knew the end was near. I heard the room starting to fill with people as they prepped things for delivery, but I really didn’t even know what was happening around me because I was facing the back of the bed & couldn’t see anybody. I just trusted that someone was going to be there to help catch the baby when the time came to push - ha!
The doctor came in just in time when I was ready to go and after a few contractions of pushing, the baby came out and she caught him & handed him to me between my legs so I could hold him. I sat back on my heels & pulled Bear to my chest - the biggest wave of relief passing over me instantly. It was all over and we did it. 😭 We all cried - Harrison, my mom, & I. Just before noon, the war was finally over & I had a healthy baby in my arms. There is no high like meeting your baby for the first time after a long, hard fought labor. As hard as labor & delivery can be, I live for that moment that follows.
Bear was 7lb 11oz, 21 inches long & my first thought was that he looked like his big sister, River. Time will tell! Above all, I was just overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for the gift of this little buddy, for sustaining me through the experience, & giving me such a wonderful support team in Harrison & my mom. It was a memorable birth experience to say the least & my heart is still bubbling over with the joy & love I feel for our newest addition to the family, Bear.
The biggest relief! Holding my baby after a long, hard fought battle.
My best friend! He’s everything I could need in a birth partner.
It was so so special having my mama in town from Florida for the delivery. She’s birthed quite a few children of her own & was a great support during my labor!
Closing Thoughts
If you made it this far, you must love birth stories as much as me! Birth is such a miracle in all the various ways that it happens - whether it goes according to “plan” or not. I’m grateful for each of the labor & deliveries I’ve gotten to experience & thankful to trust in a God that is sovereign over it all. Thank you for reading & celebrating with me in the arrival of our son!
MY DUDES!!! 😍😍😍
I AM BEAR, HEAR ME ROARRR. 😉🐻🥰
If you love birth stories, you might enjoy reading about my daughters’ deliveries, too! You can read Wylden’s here and River’s here.
